why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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