Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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