I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
