The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
