It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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