hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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