So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
