Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
