I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
