Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
