1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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