There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You need Xanax blowdarts
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize