I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
