Can i not drive my cunt home
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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