boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
