Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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