Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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