We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
