Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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