I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
