On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
