her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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