oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
