She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Randomize
