checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize