So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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