I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize