There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
