i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
