I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize