Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
