yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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