Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
