I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
