I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
