You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
