just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
