im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
