i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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