so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
