Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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