YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
