Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
