you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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