He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
