what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
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