it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
