i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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