Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
