i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
