Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
