He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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