whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I want her autograph on my taint
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I have aggressive nipples.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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