i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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