Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Randomize
