I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
