; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
