I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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